I have been writing about healing our inner child but thought I would take a break from that and just talk about life. I mean life as an abuse survivor.
I have learned that I will always have certain struggles because of the baggage coming from abuse. While the Lord has brought much healing to me verses the life I used to have, there are still issues. I suffer from chronic depression and anxiety. I am on medication for them but it doesn’t completely take those things away. It makes them manageable. Manageable would not really be my first choice if I had one, but I don’t. So, I struggle….
And this week, the battle has been anxiety. I started a new job and it is in an extremely high stress environment. I don’t know what I am doing on most fronts and I am the receptionist at the front desk! It is definitely a difficult position to be in. And I know that probably all of you reading this have a started a new job, so you know what I am talking about.
I get an hour for lunch. The job is only four minutes from my house (a God thing for certain) and so I come home. Wow, I just want to collapse! After 4 hours! And then I go back. At the end of the day, my heart is worn out from racing and feeling anxious about trying to get things right. The people I work for, are very gracious. It is the perfectionist that my abuse created that is not so easy on me.
Hence, my struggle. But, you know what? The Lord is still ever present in my need….in my anxiety. I go to Him regularly and I know He is there for me. I also know because of the basic fact that I have gotten through the day! And that is my point. My dear friend, sometimes that is all we can do. Just get through the day. But as long as we keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one minute at a time and continuing to pray…..we will succeed. We have to! For the only way to truly fail is to quit trying. So, hang in there…..if you are reading this, you are having more success in your life than you are giving yourself credit for.