“Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.” Psalm 71:20 NIV
I had this scripture given to me by a sister several years ago and I continue to take comfort
in it. You see, I still have troubles. The Lord giving me healing in areas and causing my life to be transformed doesn’t mean I have “arrived.” There are trials, struggles and even confusion at times. I don’t share that with you to be discouraging but to give you hope.
I have felt the Lord prompt me from the start of my writing journey to share with you that struggles are reasonable when you come from where we do. Even chronic issues are not surprising. I have chronic depression. What that means is I still tend to fall into that if I am not careful. Now, I also recognize the fact that I need continued healing. My abuse happened in layers and my healing also happens in layers. I just started counseling again because I saw certain issues are starting to re-surface that I hoped were gone for good. I am on medication for my depression as well. These things don’t mean that the Lord hasn’t worked healing in my life… it means that He isn’t through yet!
The Lord has given me the gift of being a transparent person and I believe one big reason is so you know that you are NOT alone! When you are struggling, you can look at my life and say, “Wow! It isn’t just me!” “Being in the process of healing doesn’t mean that I have to look pristine and clean all the time.” I feel like I am proof that it is possible to have joy in the Lord, to be able to see His hand move in my life and yet, still get down and still have distress. I am a work in progress, not just a work in process!
I guess what I am really trying to say is that it’s okay to struggle. YOU’RE okay! Even in distress and turmoil. You aren’t a failure when you feel negative emotions or even when you get angry at the Lord. He loves you no matter what you feel or who you are. No matter what is going on in your life and how you are reacting to it. The one thing I ask is that you strive to keep that door of your heart cracked just a little, so you can allow the Lord’s love to pour in. Because it will pour, no matter how small the crack is! And we can cling to His Word above, He WILL restore us and He WILL bring us up from the depths. I spend a whole lot less time in the depths than I used to. And I know it will continue to become less frequent the more time I spend in His healing hands. You can have that same confidence as you cling to the truth that God doesn’t play favorites! Take heart dear ones! What He is doing for me, He will also do for you!